Does your family read your books?

I imagine this question elicits a wide variety of responses from people. For some, the thought of family members reading their books is like nails on a chalkboard: “Nooooooo! I don’t even tell them about it! It’s like a chunk of my soul being put on display!” I’ve also read enough book acknowledgements to know that there are loads of people whose spouses are their first readers and favorite critics. Where do you fall on that spectrum? I am very curious to know.

For me, I lean towards the nails-on-chalkboard crowd, but with maturity (read: I’m getting older) I’ve found that I care less. To be more specific: I’ve realized that other people care less than I originally thought/feared. Younger me was mortified at the thought of anyone looking at my chunk of soul and took great pains not to tell my family. In hindsight, this was no bad thing since those first attempts at writing were pretty awful even though I thought they were masterpieces at the time. They had value in the practice and skill sharpening they provided, but that’s about it. Now I’ve reached the point where I (gasp) have things going on in my own life as well, and I understand that no one is paying as much attention to me as I might think. I generally don’t like to talk about writing projects until I’m finished with them, but that’s just so I can stay focused and not break the creative bubble. Now when I “announce” I’ve written something it’s more like Hey, can you look over this blurb for me and see if I missed any typos. It’s historical fiction, fyi. They’re happy for me and I’m always humbled if they say they want to read it, but I also know people have lives, not to mention a variety of interests when it comes to stuff they actually want to read, and if they can get to it, great! If not, I understand completely and no feelings are hurt.

That said, I do still feel very nervous whenever I do talk about my books. Heart-racing, high-pitched voice, smiling too hard, all of that. I am 100% certain it’s from Imposter Syndrome. In spite of my almost two decades of practice, six years of corporate experience as an editor, and having three published books to my name, I still doubt my skills. I doubt that anything I write is deserving of anyone’s time, attention, or money. So when I discuss my books I feel like I’m constantly bracing myself for a tidal wave of judgement that, more often than not, never actually comes. And even when that negative criticism does hit, it only stings for a minute. That’s part of why I’m working on this website and making more of an effort to normalize discussion about all this. I never want to be that person who constantly brings up the fact that they write books and demands other people read them, but I also don’t want to come off awkward and weird whenever I receive even a mild compliment or congratulation.

Do you feel nervous whenever talking about your writing (or any creative work)? If not, do you have any strategies or advice for the rest of us who struggle with putting ourselves out there?